Dear Lord, forgive me for my sins. Please help those I have wronged to forgive me as well. Let them have peace in their hearts, and may you guide me in the way of making amends, if I can help them find that peace. Please also give me the strength to forgive those who have wronged me, Lord.
In my limited knowledge and understanding, I can never truly know another's heart, and so it can never be my place to pass judgment. And though I am made in your image, I am still only human. I do not have all of Creation resting upon my fingertips. You are beyond reproach, but I feel pain, Lord. I seek fairness and justice, atonement for wrongs done against me, in a form that I can see, on a time-scale I can comprehend.
Have mercy on me Lord, for I am small and petty, and seek things which, in the end, have no value. I have tried to rise above, to be magnanimous, like You. But the pain I feel is acute and raw, the wound stagnant, festering, filled with fever. These are a constant distraction, clouding my mind, pulling my gaze backwards in time, taking my focus off of the here-and-now, where I am needed, and more importantly, where I will find you.
I have thought that an apology, an admission of wrongdoing, would help me to forgive. But this has not come. Instead, the more of my heart I commit to this desire, the further I am pulled into the flames of that original betrayal. Fingers and nails rake over my wound, and I am in agony, consumed by grief, anger, jealousy, hatred.
These things are not me, Lord, and have no place in my heart or mind. Have mercy on me and forgive me, for putting my healing and my happiness into the hands of another human being, resting upon the whim of the one who had already failed me. I do not need anything from her, to be able to heal. She did not make me. She cannot unmake me.
Whatever power she may have over me in this fallen world, she has no power over me in my heart, except that which I give her. She will have no victory over my spirit, except that which I forfeit. Neither she nor I will live forever. Each of us will shrink and wither at your feet, become as tiny columns of ash, crumble and be carried away, before the next time you have blinked.
And yet I give her power over me, as though she has something I need. In my nursing of this wound and cultivating of this pain, I have made an idol of her, taken her betrayal as damnation, placed myself at her mercy, made her my savior. Dear Lord, forgive me for this. Forgive me and have mercy. Save me as only you can. Let me put my healing and salvation back into your hands, the One who will never forsake me, never leave me, never turn away from me.
What's, is done. What's lost, is lost. Let me take comfort in the knowledge that Your justice, the only justice, will be done, as you see fit, regardless of what I desire. This is the best I could hope for, and in that knowledge I am set free, as I renew my faith in your complete and total sovereignty.
Dear Lord, let my fever break. Purge me of this infection of heart and mind, seal my wound, and make me new. Let me rejoice that you are merciful, kind, and benevolent, that you are God, beyond all things trivial, petty, and human. Let me rise above to see beyond my own pain, yet save me from hubris and self-righteousness. Keep me humble and always grateful Lord. Let me see the good in your work, the lessons in these trials.
Dear Lord, forgive me for my sins. Help me to forgive this wrong and let go. Peace is here for me, if I will only take it from your outstretched hands. There is nothing more I need do. Please give me strength. Please grant me clarity of mind. Let the trivial, human aspects of this hurt be peeled away. What is left is that which is divine - forgiveness. Let me embrace it. Let it fill me. Let me have the peace which lies within it. by: anon79
Amen.
In my limited knowledge and understanding, I can never truly know another's heart, and so it can never be my place to pass judgment. And though I am made in your image, I am still only human. I do not have all of Creation resting upon my fingertips. You are beyond reproach, but I feel pain, Lord. I seek fairness and justice, atonement for wrongs done against me, in a form that I can see, on a time-scale I can comprehend.
Have mercy on me Lord, for I am small and petty, and seek things which, in the end, have no value. I have tried to rise above, to be magnanimous, like You. But the pain I feel is acute and raw, the wound stagnant, festering, filled with fever. These are a constant distraction, clouding my mind, pulling my gaze backwards in time, taking my focus off of the here-and-now, where I am needed, and more importantly, where I will find you.
I have thought that an apology, an admission of wrongdoing, would help me to forgive. But this has not come. Instead, the more of my heart I commit to this desire, the further I am pulled into the flames of that original betrayal. Fingers and nails rake over my wound, and I am in agony, consumed by grief, anger, jealousy, hatred.
These things are not me, Lord, and have no place in my heart or mind. Have mercy on me and forgive me, for putting my healing and my happiness into the hands of another human being, resting upon the whim of the one who had already failed me. I do not need anything from her, to be able to heal. She did not make me. She cannot unmake me.
Whatever power she may have over me in this fallen world, she has no power over me in my heart, except that which I give her. She will have no victory over my spirit, except that which I forfeit. Neither she nor I will live forever. Each of us will shrink and wither at your feet, become as tiny columns of ash, crumble and be carried away, before the next time you have blinked.
And yet I give her power over me, as though she has something I need. In my nursing of this wound and cultivating of this pain, I have made an idol of her, taken her betrayal as damnation, placed myself at her mercy, made her my savior. Dear Lord, forgive me for this. Forgive me and have mercy. Save me as only you can. Let me put my healing and salvation back into your hands, the One who will never forsake me, never leave me, never turn away from me.
What's, is done. What's lost, is lost. Let me take comfort in the knowledge that Your justice, the only justice, will be done, as you see fit, regardless of what I desire. This is the best I could hope for, and in that knowledge I am set free, as I renew my faith in your complete and total sovereignty.
Dear Lord, let my fever break. Purge me of this infection of heart and mind, seal my wound, and make me new. Let me rejoice that you are merciful, kind, and benevolent, that you are God, beyond all things trivial, petty, and human. Let me rise above to see beyond my own pain, yet save me from hubris and self-righteousness. Keep me humble and always grateful Lord. Let me see the good in your work, the lessons in these trials.
Dear Lord, forgive me for my sins. Help me to forgive this wrong and let go. Peace is here for me, if I will only take it from your outstretched hands. There is nothing more I need do. Please give me strength. Please grant me clarity of mind. Let the trivial, human aspects of this hurt be peeled away. What is left is that which is divine - forgiveness. Let me embrace it. Let it fill me. Let me have the peace which lies within it. by: anon79
Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment